AnneMcCrady May 7, 2023 News, Violence, Women

I Didn’t Scream

Found lines in the news regarding rapes

I didn’t know…
I did know him.

We were alone.
I was all alone.

He groped, kissed hard.
Oh, God, not this!

He tore my clothes.
He tore me open.

He shoved.
I shuttered.

He groaned.
He moaned.

I lost my breath.
I lost my body.

He left me weak.
He left me hurting.

This couldn’t happen!
And then it did.

I told the truth.
I didn’t lie!

I didn’t scream.
But I didn’t die.

Anne McCrady, 2023

NEWSLINKS: MSNBC, CNN, THE HILL

AUDIOLINK: SoundCloud

2Comments

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1

Adrianne Pamplin on May 10, 2023 at 11:14 pm
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Great poem Anne. I started to write one about my experiences, but decided I didn’t want to think that hard about them. Four rapes and several attempted but I ran. And one close call from a guy who rescued me from a guy who was about to, then tried himself. I talked my way out of that one. Many sexual abuse occasions, mostly on jobs. I’m in trauma therapy now but we are focusing mostly on child abuse from my mother. Some sexual. Children who are sexually abused are seven times more likely to be raped than those who weren’t. It causes compliance, inability to say no forcefully, an unsureness about what is safe and not, and also what is appropriate. I love my therapist. It’s the first time so we ever had trauma therapy. The regular approaches don’t ever help. PTSD is a different animal.

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2

Adrianne Pamplin on May 11, 2023 at 6:36 pm
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I threw this together and tried a similar form.

Deli Case of Assaults

The first time was a high school friend

who beat me when I screamed

broke the chain lock off nobody came

danced in front of an associate that’s all it took

thought it was my fault so I didn’t tell

two days out of surgery car broke down

school acquaintance offered ride asked to come in for water

water not what he wanted first thought was fear of hurting his feelings

I was still bleeding from surgery didn’t matter and he bit me on my legs

kept wiping his sweat off washed my sheets after

asked when I wanted it again I lived alone so I hid

then I didn’t remember for five years

first day on a job given meth in a coke

a tour of town came with wine wine with a side of rape

he was my boss threatened my job if I refused

how to say no he was 7 feet tall

at a party I was rescued promised a ride home

but then he wanted payment for saving me summoned strength and scared him with a threat

dumped me at San Antonio bus station boyfriend finally found me at midnight

asked to see a top floor view at a dorm party

wasn’t the view he wanted to show me chased me down 24 flights, but I ran like the rabbit

asked over for a meal only served up a prompt attack

so I jumped up and bolted chased me four blocks

these were but a few times must roll with it, keep on going

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